abusive parents in private: just look at yourself, you'll never fucking amount to anything, do you think someone will want you like that? Do you think you'll ever be successful? You need to start living in the real world, you're a fucking failure and pathetic waste of space, ungrateful little monster, you should be beaten and forced to work for us every single day of your life, we've been too easy on you, should have abused you more.
abusive parents in front of relatives and guests: oh, we worry about that child so much! we do what we can but we're still concerned- /continue talking about the child like they know what they're going thru and identify outer factors as the cause for child's stress and pain(just look what a lovely worried parents we are, it's obvious from our act we can never be responsible for the obvious trauma symptoms on this kid right?)